I want to know your darkest deepest secret

strings

6:16am
woke up with nine hours of sleep
what more can i ask?

puffy eyes, feeling down, what else?
i feel so tired upon wakng up
it is as if i climbed a mountain while i was asleep
but no, i didn't

i was suppose to rest
but the rest i wanted to achieve was sort of futile

i had so many dreams
dreams i can no longer remember in detail

but i remember
control freakness
anger
and rejection

the qualities and activities i fear
i hate
i dislike

i dont know when can i overcome all these
i want to be well
but i have to learn to let go of these fears

stupid and strange ideas come into my mind

but i know time will come

yes time will come



i am sorry for those who think i am okay now.
i am sorry for my disorder mislead you.
i hope that you will still stay
for even if i seem like letting go,
i am not.

i am not.

i try to hold on even to that single strand i have.



-tdeleon10.3.2